Sunday, September 16, 2012

tear down this wall.

Dear God,

Brick by brick
I've built a wall inside my heart so high.
Strong and sturdy,
yet cold and hard.
I thought this was the only way to keep my heart safe.
No heartache, no betrayal, no disappointments.
This must be the only answer.
Stop giving away any of my heart...even small pieces...
and no one will be able to harm it.

My guard has been up for far too long, Lord.

While my heart is what I've been trying to protect,
it's also suffering miserably.
My heart is being stifled behind this wall I've built.
No one has been able to hurt this heart,
but it hasn't received any warmth either.
I haven't given any room for growth in old friendships, and
frankly I make it hard for new friends to get to know me.

I need this wall to be torn down.

This wall I've built is not protecting anything.
It doesn't allow me to love others.
It doesn't allow me to accept love from others.
It doesn't allow me to be Your servant.
It has caused more hurt than it has kept out.

I'm done building this wall.
I want it gone. NOW.
It's blocking me from this world I am called to love.
I need to trust You to be my defender and stop trying to do it on my own.
I obviously don't know how to do it right.

Tear down this wall, Lord. Help me to love without fear.

Love, Your Daughter

Saturday, September 1, 2012


Oh hello, September. I wasn't expecting you so soon. Summer can't be over already, can it?

I suppose it is the sad truth. I made the drive up to school earlier this week and said sayonara to summer. It is good to be back at school, but as feels weird. Every year so much changes; I change.

With this being my senior year of college, I'm excited...and nervous...and finding myself with an extreme case of senioritis. Graduation day is still over eight months away, but I'm pretty positive it will go by fast. Good thing? Bad thing? I don't know, but right now I'm thinking it's pretty good. If change is inevitable, it might as well happen in a new stage of life.

I know God has a lot to teach me this year. I know there are a lot of things that need to change in my life and deep within my heart. I already know there will be challenges, but I know they need to be faced in order to be overcome.

So here's to a new school year.

Here is to another opportunity for growth.

Here is to God using whatever it takes while I'm here to break me and make me into
who I need to be.

My goal is to reach graduation day as a changed person. Changed more into the likeness of Christ that is. When I leave this place and go off into the world, I need to be founded in my Savior. I am anxious to see the journey He has planned this year for me in order to transform this heart.